


Volstagg the Voluminous

by Coherent_Nonsense



Series: The End [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Childhood, Cute, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Heartwarming, Kid Fic, Pre-Thor (2011), Stealing food and skipping training, Volstagg as a chilled-out warrior in training, Young Volstagg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 13:48:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13032474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coherent_Nonsense/pseuds/Coherent_Nonsense
Summary: Thor was very young the first time he attended the ceremony welcoming the new warriors-in-training to the palace, but he remembered Volstagg. How could he not? It wasn't every day you found one of Tyr's recruits sneaking off for a pre-feast snack.





	Volstagg the Voluminous

The first time Thor saw Volstagg was when the warriors-in-training were formally presented at the palace. Thor was still very young – young enough that his height prevented him from seeing the food on the banquet tables when he stood beside them. It was an unusual ceremony, for it was during the day as opposed to the evening, and it was the first time for many years that it had taken place. During the war, and even for a while before it, the Allfather didn’t have time to host a ceremony welcoming Asgard’s potential future protectors to the royal court. Now that peace was relatively secure, however, and the warriors’ primary function would hopefully be ceremonial, it seemed right that the formal presentation should take place.

Of the hundred-ish adolescent Asgardians, the young Thor remembered only Volstagg. Why? Well – none of the others had snuck away from their supervisors to have a sneak preview of the coming feast. Thor stood at the edge of the empty hall, watching as the teenager hovered over plates, snatching up the odd hog’s leg or pheasant breast, stuffing his face with everything he thought wouldn’t be missed. He spotted the little prince in the corner of his eye while he was gazing longingly at the barrels of ale and mead lined up against the far wall.

He looked a little panicked at first, but when Thor smiled and waved, he smiled and waved back.

“Hullo there,” even back then his voice was loud and deep. “You won’t give me away, will you, little warrior?”

He put the drinking horn strapped to his belt under the tap of an ale barrel and twisted the knob, letting out a ‘ho ho!’ of delight when the forbidden liquid trickled out. Taking a sizeable sip out of the horn, Volstagg nodded his head enthusiastically in approval, and filled it back up to the brim. He took another sip before sealing its cap and turning back to Thor.

“Goodbye, young friend,” he said with a salute, and made his way to the exit. The apprentice to the chief of ceremonial feasts, who had been put in charge today, walked in as Volstagg walked out. He was surprised to see one of the young warriors in the room and looked about to scold him when Volstagg gave a little bow, said “good afternoon, sir. It’s an excellent feast you have laid out there. Well done!” and left. The chief’s apprentice looked so pleased with this compliment that he completely forgot about the reprimand that lay on his lips and cried out a flustered “thank you!” in response. When the other man wasn’t looking, Volstagg turned and gave Thor a very theatrical wink before disappearing through the doors.

This first impression stayed with the young Thor for many months before he saw Volstagg again.

This time, the teenage warrior had been in the royal gardens with a stolen bottle of wine and a pile of stolen fruit. He appeared to have it from nearby trees – some of them very rare – and was nestled in a small clearing out of the way of the main path. When he saw Thor, he called out.

“Oh, it’s you, little warrior! Come here and have some of this fruit. It’s absolutely delectable!”

Thor tottered over and accepted the fruit.

“What is your name, Bjarki?”

“Thor.”

Volstagg almost spat out the wine he was drinking.

“Prince Thor! Oh, wow. Uhh… hey, we’re friends, right?” he asked, suddenly looking very nervous.

Thor thought about it for a moment before deciding that yes, they were, and he put on his most serious face to confirm it. “Yes, Mister. We are friends.”

“Excellent. You’re a good boy, Thor, and a good friend, yes?”

“Yes.”

“So,” Volstagg scratched the fluff on his chin that constituted his attempt at a beard. “Friend to friend, I’ll promise to keep your secrets if you’ll keep mine. You can’t tell anyone where you see me, ok? It’s… a game. People try to find me all the time. They’ll say things like ‘where’s Volstagg? He should be in training!’ and ‘why is the food all gone? Was it Volstagg?’ and I’ll be somewhere far away, eating and possibly drinking, and they have to find me. They might ask you where I am, but that’s cheating and if you tell them then you aren’t being a very good friend, ok? And I know you are a good friend, so you mustn’t do anything that makes it look like you aren’t.”

Thor nodded, absolutely serious. “Yes, Mister Volstagg.”

The young warrior laughed and it sounded like rolling thunder. “Thor, my dear boy, call me Volstagg. None of this ‘mister’ nonsense.”

“Yes Volstagg.” Thor laughed now, too, and was annoyed at how unimpressive it sounded compared to the laugh of his new friend. One day, he swore silently, his laugh would sound like thunder, too.

Thor saw Volstagg from time to time for perhaps two centuries before he graduated to the next level of warrior training and began to spend much less time around the palace. Thor was older by then, but was still too young to visit his large friend – besides, his father had deemed the friendship ‘inappropriate’ and his brother still seemed very suspicious of the man. His mother was the only person Thor knew who liked Volstagg, claiming that he had ‘a big heart’ and ‘a pure soul’, but her kind words held little sway over the ever increasing number of people he had offended.

Naturally, then, Thor was surprised to see his friend, after what felt like a century of absence, back in the palace at the coming of age ball for the new ladies of the court.

 

***

 

The ceremony was incredibly boring for the young prince. He was old enough to understand what was going on, but still too young to take interest. The young ladies lined up in the hall in their ridiculous dresses were unexciting, and it was difficult to keep still for such a long time. He was stood at the edge of the steps leading up to his father’s big chair holding his mother’s hand. Loki was holding his mother’s other hand and Thor was _so_ tempted to reach over and push him. Loki must have been bored, too, right? But his mother, having probably seen the idea forming in his mind, tightened her grip on his hand.

“Thor…” she warned quietly, frowning down at him. “Hold on a little bit longer, the ceremony will be finished soon, and the buffet will open.”

Thor huffed and threw his gaze across the crowd once more.

“Will there be cakes, mother?” he heard Loki ask, but didn’t hear the reply. He had spotted a messy nest of red hair and a bushy red beard shifting restlessly in the middle of the neat and motionless crowd.

“Volstagg!” he whispered.

“Who?” His brother asked.

Thor shook his head. “I’ll show you later.”

When the ceremony finally came to a close and the celebrations began, Thor made a beeline for Volstagg, Loki following close behind. All around them people began to dance and pour themselves drinks, but Volstagg just stood there, looking more awkward than a bilgesnipe in a busy market. Thor noticed with confusion that he had combed his frizzy locks and attempted to tie them into some semblance of a neat arrangement. He was also wearing dress armour and didn’t appear to have any food hidden about his person at all.

Thor stopped in front of his old friend and smiled.

“Volstagg!”

“Oh!” the man looked quite startled at the prince’s appearance. “Thor! It has been quite a while, hasn’t it? My, you’ve grown! You will be a proper warrior soon.”

Thor grinned before taking his brother’s hand and thrusting him before the redheaded giant. “This is my brother!”

Loki, being a fair bit smaller than Thor, was tiny compared to the man-mountain that was Volstagg, and seemed to be quite afraid.

“Why, hullo, little prince!” Volstagg bent down slightly. “Your name is Loki, yes?”

The boy nodded.

Thor looked around while his brother talked to his old friend. He couldn’t see Fandral, but then his family didn’t often come to these events. Although their association with Thor had gained them an invite to all palace events, and an offer of an official title – Drifa would become Lady Drifa and they could live in a much bigger house – they had declined. Thor didn’t understand why, but his mother assured him that it was a perfectly valid choice and that Fandral would be fine either way. Still, Thor wished his friend would be here at times like this.

Suddenly Thor became aware that their little group was being watched. Many of the surrounding men and women were staring, their eyes flitting between Volstagg and the princes. Thor wondered what was so interesting. He turned away from them to see that Volstagg had bent down to Loki and was saying something very quietly while the boy scanned the crowd. Feeling very left out, Thor rejoined the conversation, shoving Loki so that he could be closer to Volstagg.

“What is it?” Thor asked.

“Volstagg is here to see a lady!” Loki hissed, irritated at Thor’s aggressive interruption. “You have to promise not to give him away. It’s a game. She isn’t allowed to know that he is here for her.”

“Who is it?”

“If I tell you, you mustn’t stare,” Volstagg said. “She is the one in the red dress – with the golden tiara. She is the one who is quite plump. But very pretty!” He breathed in deeply. “She’s the prettiest lady in Asgard.”

“You should go and talk to her right now!” Thor exclaimed.

Volstagg shook his head. “She’s dancing with a gentleman. She won’t want to see me.”

“No!” Thor stamped his princely foot. “You are a warrior of Asgard and you will not be afraid of a lady, pretty or not. As First Prince of Asgard I command you to talk to her!”

Volstagg laughed his thunderous laugh. “If you command me, your majesty, I must obey. But I reserve the right to have some mead beforehand.”

“You may drink your mead,” Thor said, absolutely serious. “But then you must promise to fulfil my command.”

“You have my word.” Volstagg stood up and bowed deeply before heading off in the direction of the barrels. Thor turned to Loki.

“Volstagg is nice, isn’t he?”

“Yes he is,” Loki agreed. “But I don’t think the red dress lady is that pretty.”

Thor frowned at his brother.

Loki continued: “green dress ladies are always the prettiest.”

 

***

 

Volstagg shook his head as he gulped down his mead. Why did he come here? He wasn’t actually going to talk to Hildegund – he knew he wasn’t. This whole thing had been a waste of time. He wished he hadn’t told the princes, and actually wasn’t sure why he did. There had been something about the little one’s big round eyes and gently probing questions that made him forget that he wanted to keep it quiet.

Pouring the last of his mead down his throat, Volstagg made his way toward the buffet table. There was no way Hildegund would want to see him. What had she said to him last time? He tossed a small pastry into his mouth. Oh yes, ‘if you dare open your mouth in my presence again, I’ll stuff it full of pies and hope you choke’. The pies didn’t sound like such a bad thing, but the choking was something he would prefer to avoid.

He picked up a few pig ribs and began to remove the meat. A woman a short way away from him wrinkled her face in disgust at him. He waved at her and she quickly turned away, embarrassed for being caught staring. There was nothing for it – he would have to leave. Feeling foolish, Volstagg began to walk in the general direction of the door.

“Volstagg!”

It was Thor again. He took a deep breath and prepared to turn to face the boy, putting on his most friendly face. What he saw when he turned around made his jaw drop. Thor was standing a meter away from Hildegund, who was holding a flower and leaning down slightly to talk to Loki. At the sound of his name, the woman stood bolt upright and looked around. The look on his face when their eyes met was venomous.

“Volstagg!” Thor took his hand and led him closer to the woman. He hadn’t the heart to resist, so he decided instead to give Hildegund his best apologetic look and just go along with it. “Hildegund, this is our friend Volstagg, and Volstagg this is our new friend Hildegund.”

“Hello, Volstagg.” Her voice was as cold as her expression.

“Madam,” he said, and bowed slightly.

Thor was looking very pleased with himself, but it seemed Loki could sense the tension. He tugged on Hildegund’s hand.

“Mister Volstagg is very nice, Miss Hildegund. Please speak with him.”

Her face softened considerably and she gave the child a warm smile.

“I will, little one. Now you and your brother should run along. Go to the buffet and get some meat in that tiny belly!”

The boy grinned. “I will, Miss Hildegund!”

And suddenly Volstagg and Hildegund were alone. Well – as alone as possible in a hall full of people. She looked at him with only slightly less scorn than before, but it was a start, at least.

He chuckled. “Sweet boys, aren’t they?”

“Did you tell them to talk to me?”

The aggression in her voice caught him off guard. “No!” he exclaimed. “No, I told them quite the opposite! I mean, I said – well, I – What I mean is… I didn’t mean to point you out to them, I just… and…” he trailed off. He was digging himself a rather large hole and decided to stop before it would no longer be possible to climb out. “Who gave you that flower?” he asked and could have smacked himself. It was none of his business.

“It is none of your business,” she answered curtly. Fair enough, really. “But if you must know it was given to me by those sneaky princes. I suppose they thought it might charm me enough to make me receptive to your company.”

“Well we are speaking,” he pointed out.

“Yes, well. I will admit that they _are_ charming children.”

She seemed to be relaxing slightly, and Volstagg saw that this was a topic of conversation worth pursuing.

“What did they speak to you about? Their minds go so quickly I often have difficulty keeping up. Well, Thor’s at least. I have only met his brother tonight.”

“They spoke of their excitement for the ceremony and how much they love feasts. Thor then wandered off, I suppose in search of you. The younger one – his name is Loki, isn’t it? – he spent some time complimenting my hair and asking about the dresses, and managed to distract me so much that I never even saw you approach. In fact, he did mention you. He said you liked red dresses the most.”

Volstagg laughed. “That boy – you don’t notice him at first, but when he speaks to you he seems to know exactly what to say.”

Hildegund nodded. She began to look around the hall, as though searching for a reason to excuse herself. Volstagg realised that it was now or never.

“Hildegund,” he began, his voice soft. “I would like to speak with you. I am ashamed of my behaviour and I wish to put things right.”

Her expression hardened in a second.

“You wish to put things right? You cannot. They are permanently broken. I refuse to waste any more of my time with you.”

“Please,” he begged. “Five minutes is all I ask. Five minutes and I will be gone from your sight forever. Please.”

She paused, refusing to meet his eye.

“Five minutes, Volstagg. I shall allow no more.”

They made their way across the hall and exited onto the balcony. There were a few people standing on it, chatting quietly while looking across the city below, so they walked to the far end – the most private spot they could find.

“Speak.” Hildegund faced Volstagg with crossed arms and a stony expression.

He took a deep breath.

“Hildegund. I know that I am not a well-behaved man. I have been offending people and ruining things my entire life – I’m clumsy and greedy and sometimes I do not think. I am sorry that I could not be the man you wanted me to be. Genuinely. Think what you will of me, Hildegund, but I do love you. I do not blame you for wanting rid of me, and I do not expect a second chance. I just wanted to apologise and to hope that one day I may earn your forgiveness.”

He tried to speak slowly and carefully, but the speech he had semi-rehearsed for the last few weeks came out a little too quickly. He prayed Hildegund would accept the apology, and a small part of him, a part he tried to pretend wasn’t that selfish, hoped that she would take him back, regardless of the fact he didn’t deserve her.

“Is that it?” Hildegund asked. Volstagg tried to read her face. “Is that all you have to say? Unimpressive.”

He blinked a few times, confused. “What do you–”

“What do I mean?” The woman’s temper flared. “Do you know what you have done to me? I am a laughing stock. I am the nobleman’s daughter who gave herself to that slothful, gluttonous pig of a warrior, Volstagg! Nobody will go near me now, I will never find a husband, nor will I ever be accepted back into the society of the ladies of the court. The only reason I am here tonight is in the hopes that I may project a favourable image to those who have yet to meet me.”

Horrified at her outburst, Volstagg didn’t know what to say. “I… I caused that?”

“Yes, that and more! You have humiliated me time and again with your terrible manners and the awful company you keep. The only reason I kept you was for love – for our sacred, sacred bond – and for the hope that one day, when you were older and a full warrior, you might develop a sense of honour and stop behaving like a common, foolish child! I tried so hard to maintain that faith in you, through all the drunken mishaps and the dishonour you insisted on pouring over yourself, but seeing you in that tavern – seeing you with that _whore_ – was the last straw! Nothing you can say will change that or change what you have done to me.”

Volstagg’s mouth was agape. “Geirny? Is she what this is about? I had nothing to do with her!”

“ _You were_ _kissing her!_ ”

“I was?”

“See, you can’t even remember! This is exactly the point I am making. You are irresponsible, you are impulsive, and you are _humiliating_. You are clearly too childish for love. You are unwilling to let go of your base amusements and provide me the stability and loyalty that I need. For that reason, Volstagg, this relationship must end. One day perhaps, once you are thoroughly forgotten, I can redeem my reputation and find happiness. I wish you all the best in your tavern-hopping. I hope you manage to stay in training until you are a warrior.”

She turned to leave and Volstagg panicked. He felt as though she had pressed a dagger through his chest. She was right. His behaviour had been appalling – he had shamed her and himself countless times. He had ignored her, had insulted her, had been cruel to her. She was right. He knew she was right, and he wasn’t even worthy to look upon her. However, as she turned to walk away, Volstagg had a revelation. Not a conscious one, but an unexpected rush of emotion. She was the world.

The words bubbled up through his chest and gushed from his lips.

“Marry me, Hildegund.”

She froze. Volstagg shivered in fear of what her next words would be.

“Excuse me?” She turned back, her face an odd mask of disgust, confusion and… was that hope?

“You are right,” he said, his voice breaking. Tears welled up in his eyes and he commanded them to sink back to whence they came. “I have been childish – and very cruel; but I never lied to you, Hildegund. I love you with all of my being. My heart, my mind… my beard, my stomach,” he smiled. “I love you more than the ground on which we stand and all the creatures that live upon it. I am prepared to be the man you need – the man _I_ need. I can’t bear to lose you. Please, Hildegund,” he gazed at her, urging her to understand. Urging the truth to pour out of his eyes. “Marry me.”

She stood in silence, examining his face.

“Whatever answer I give you is temporary,” she said, finally. He frowned. “Should I say yes, and you fail in your endeavours, I do not wish to be eternally bound to you. You will be given a trial period in which we shall not speak of our engagement until I am sure that you will not betray me. Should I say no, however, and you prove me wrong, I reserve the right to adjust my response to a yes. Those are my conditions.”

Confused, Volstagg prompted her. “What is your answer, then?”

“You will find out at the end of the evening.”

 

***

 

Two years later, Thor saw Volstagg at another ceremony in the palace. This time, however, he was not surprised to see him.

The wedding of Volstagg and Hildegund was a merry occasion involving much ale and many roasted boars. The gathered noblemen and ladies agreed that they had hardly ever seen a bride so radiantly happy, nor a groom so enraptured by his new wife. As the couple danced under the keen and rather intrusive gaze of their guests, Hildegund placed her head on Volstagg’s shoulder. It was a sight that the young Thor would never forget.


End file.
